What Success Really Takes

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So what is it about people that make their dreams come true? Those highly successful people, the people that set goals and reach them. Believe it or not, there is a psychology to how successful people think. They do think different than the people who dream up ideas but never take those steps, or the people who take a couple steps and quit, or the people who procrastinate nonstop. There is a real psychology to this. And this video is going to go over all kinds of tips and things that actually work for you to reach your desired outcomes as long as you follow them. First and foremost, the number one thing that I have learned from doing my job for all of these years is that people who are successful get rid of this idea that they have to feel like doing something to do it. That is the number one trap we fall into. We've got goals or an outcome we want to reach, and we get stuck in this idea that we're supposed to feel like doing the thing we have to do. Get that out of your head. You're not going to feel like it. So you might as well accept it. And as time goes on, you probably do start to feel like doing those things. But at the beginning, especially when you're creating a new habit, hell no, you don't feel like doing the things. So get that out of your head. If you wait to feel like it, you're never gonna do it. And then you're perpetuating that cycle of self-sabotage. So let's dive into all of the different ways successful people think. What is the psychology of successful people? Number one, they think long-term. They fall in love with the outcome that they want. They visualize and think about the thing that they want to accomplish. And they fall so in love with that that they can focus and move themselves through those times when they don't feel like doing things or when they hit snags or challenges. Because they're so in love with the outcome, they're not just thinking about how I feel today on a Thursday. I don't feel like going for my walk. I don't feel like eating right. I don't feel like getting out of bed early. They think long term. And because they think long term, when their sabotage mind kicks in and says, Hey, I don't feel like going for a walk today, I'll just make up for it tomorrow and I'll go twice as far. When that kicks in, and number two, they take full responsibility for their own life. They give up that victim mentality and they take full ownership. So they decide how they want to have their life go from this day forward. They give up the idea that the world's out to get them, that all of this bad stuff has happened, because that has happened, they cannot reach their goals. That is not true. You can. You're here, you're breathing, you can make your goals happen. If you start watching videos on successful people, you will freak out on how many stories there are out there of people who have been incredible odds, stories of people who have had terrible childhoods or life-altering accidents, illnesses, the things these people have moved themselves through is phenomenal. There are people with financial horror stories who have come from poverty, who have somehow still created success for themselves. So believe me, that's possible for you too. So if you want to think like a successful people person, give up the idea that the world's out to get you or that too much has happened to you for you to change your life. You can change your life starting today. And this goes back to my first point, they get comfortable in the discomfort. I'm gonna share with you right now. This is very personal. I don't know if you've heard of OMAD, but I've started just on Sunday. Today is Thursday, where I'm only eating one big meal a day, a very nutritious, high protein meal. So I'm fasting for 23 hours. Uh, yep, I'm hungry. I feel hungry right now. The first three days were a lot worse. I'm moving through it and and I'm fine, I'm adjusting, but I I'm telling you, there is discomfort in that. I had headaches for the first two days. Those are gone, thank God. Didn't feel so great. My energy felt low. Now I feel like my energy is coming back, which is kind of phenomenal. And I've slept better last night than I have in years. So successful people get comfortable in the discomfort because they're in love with their outcome. They tell themselves, shut up, get out of bed, go for the walk. Because the minute you start, and especially when you're done, you're gonna be so happy you did it and you moved yourself one step closer to getting to the thing that you want. Take away the idea that making changes is comfortable because it's not. When you have to do something you've never done before, you're going to be uncomfortable or there's going to be discomfort in certain parts of it. You'll see a theme running through this. It's acceptance. So acceptance that you're not going to feel like doing something, but you're going to do it anyway. Acceptance that it's going to be uncomfortable, but you're going to do it anyway. This is how successful people think. Now, this one I think you'll find really interesting. Successful people are really curious. They let their ego go so that they remain curious. When your ego is inflated and through the roof, you're not curious. You're not curious about what other people think. You're not curious about what you might not know. You're not curious about what you might be doing wrong. Your ego is telling you you got it all. You're fine, you're set. So get curious. Start exploring and learning more and more and more about the thing that you want to do. Become an expert by studying it. And now today with technology, you don't have to go pay for a big formal course if you don't want to. You can watch YouTube videos, you can chat GPT some information, just cross-check and make sure that the information you're gathering from social media is accurate and factual because that's getting harder and harder today to know when something is the truth or not the truth. So the next one is optimism. And this isn't about walking around in this unhealthy state of too much positivity where you're not realistic. It's optimism in that you pair it really well. You've got hope and you've got optimism that what you're working on is going to work, but you're realistic enough that you're not living in la la land. You are optimistic that even though you're going to face some challenges and there's going to be some difficulties, you're going to get through those. You're going to meet those challenges. So when you hit a snag, your optimism knows how to kick in and say, okay, maybe you need a breather. This is part of the process. I can share with you some stories from my own life. Maybe I'll do that in another video. But I have had times where I really thought, like, are you kidding me? Why is this not working? Why do I feel like everything is piling up against me? When you have a mindset of optimism, it's not that you don't acknowledge that these challenges are real. You understand that your emotions are completely justified. And it's okay for you to feel bad about the things that are happening, to feel angry or frustrated or sad. Those are just normal emotions. And to give yourself some grace and some time, maybe you need to go take a break. Maybe you need to leave this project for a couple days if it's possible, whatever it is, so that you can reset. Here's a big one. This is another one on how successful people think. They are self-aware. They make sure that they're paying attention to, well, to everything really. They're paying attention to their own body language, they're paying attention to their tone of voice, how they connect with people, how they're taking in information. They're aware of their self-sabotage patterns, they're aware of their, you know, self-talk, their attitude, their level of complaining, their lifestyle habits, whether they're healthy or unhealthy. Successful people are paying attention to themselves and paying attention to the people around them. When you're self-aware, you will grow because if you choose to pay attention to your patterns and your behaviors, then you can hold on tightly and keep growing the ones that are working well for you, and you can change the ones that are harming you or harming the people you're in relationships with. You cannot become successful. No, I'm going to take that back. I think there are many people who are successful who aren't self-aware. So I'm going to take it back. There are people that have access to money and have huge successful companies, but they are not self-aware and they can leave a whole trail of pain and harm in their midst. And maybe this is why we have to define what successful is. For some people, it is the titles, it's the power over others that makes them feel successful. If you have narcissistic qualities and you lack empathy and you're not worried about what you're doing to others, then I guess in your head, you're successful because you've reached whatever those pinnacles are and you've got power and you've got money. That's not true success for me. Human connection, helping others, living a purpose, having good relationships, feeling good about myself, that's success for me. Part of self-awareness is reflection. I'll give you an example. If you're talking with somebody and you end up in a little bit of a, you know, I'm not saying a fight, just a disagreement. If you aren't self-aware, then the natural go-to is to blame the other person for what just happened or to be defensive if they try to give you feedback that maybe it was something you said or did. A self-aware, successful person knows that they have to think about what was my tone of voice, what was my body language, what were the words that I used, how did I say that to them? Because the delivery of what I said will have a huge impact in how they received that information. So when you're self-aware, you do a lot of reflection. You can reflect at the end of the day and say, okay, how'd I do today? Did I do the things that I said I was going to do? What were my successes and my wins? Make sure you're looking at those two because reflection isn't just on what we've done wrong. Reflection is on what we've done right so we can continue to do it and build our confidence. Okay, now I'm going to give you very practical, clear steps on what you have to do to start thinking like a successful person and start working on your goals and your dreams. First, number one thing, so, so, so important. I want you to sit with your idea or your dream, and I want you to really visualize every single thing around that goal. What's it going to look like when I have it? How am I going to feel? How is it going to impact my life? How is it going to impact the lives of others? And I want you to write all of that out. Create a whole vision of what this is going to look like and how this is going to change your life or the life of others when you achieve it. This is so important. You have to do this step because you are going to come into some roadblocks or challenges along the way. And if you don't have that picture clear in your head, it is going to be so easy to go, oh, screw this. I'm moving on. I'm not even going to try to achieve this anymore. So please, number one, fall in love with your dream or the outcome that you want to reach. Number two, start writing out all of the steps, all of those things that have to get done for you to reach those goals. And then I want you to create some milestones. You need to be able to celebrate some wins along the way. I remember way back when I was working on getting my certification through ICF. Oh my goodness, you would not believe the list of courses and assignments and live trainings that I had to do to get that through the coaching federation. It is a big, huge deal. Recordings, all of the stuff I had to do. I remember showing my husband I had written out every course, all of the assignments. It was a whole entire list of the things that I had to do. And I showed it to him. He goes, Why would you do that? That is so overwhelming. Like that is a giant list. And I said, because I'm going to highlight each one as I go. And eventually I'm going to look at what I've already accomplished and I'm going to tell myself, okay, you're over the hump, and now you've only got these 10 things left. That's exactly what I did. And every time I highlighted one off, I was like, yes. And that was a win for me. And I celebrated that win. So I want you to have some milestones so that you can celebrate because every milestone means you're closer to the outcome being reached. And then I want you to take all of the big tasks and break them down into small tasks. So if your goal is something that is going to require time that you just don't feel like you have, then break it down into 15 or 20 minute tasks because you can surely find 15 or 20 minutes in your day if you're committed. And yes, you may have to get up 20 minutes early, or you will not die, I promise. Or you will take less of a break at lunch. Just commit yourself to these small windows. And then once you've got that big chunk broken down into little tiny pieces, here's your next step. And this is super important. And I've done this with so many clients I can't count, and they will all tell you that this works for them. I want you to schedule those tasks into your calendar. They have to become set in your calendar like any other appointment, and you need to treat them like that. So put them in your calendar, and in your mind, you have to start creating a mindset that says, no matter what, that's a thing I have to do that day. I cannot go to bed without that done. And yes, I know life can happen, but if you, for some reason, completely out of your control, can't do the task that day, then it has to get done either the next day or before the end of the week. And whatever additional task you're supposed to get done that week, get added on. So that week ends with your task done that you said you were going to do. And then your final step is to surround yourself with people who you don't need them to hold you accountable, but you need to surround yourself with people that keep you really inspired. Maybe it's real life people around you that can encourage you and keep you going, and that's great. Or it's people on YouTube, podcasts. Get your mind filled with these positive stories and people's success stories. Watch what people have done. Start absorbing yourself into the world of successful people and take it in and listen to their mindset and then separate yourself from activities or people who drain your energy who are balloon poppers. You know, those people where you tell them you have an idea or a dream and they instantly give you the reasons why it won't work and pop the balloon. Get away from the negativity as much as you can. Successful people just know that if they do the things they're supposed to do to get to where they want to go, they will get there. So if you follow these steps and your tasks, then guess what? It's impossible for you not to succeed because you followed all the steps that you have to. If somebody went to school to be a nurse and they did every assignment they were supposed to do and they attended every lab they were supposed to attend, and they went to every lecture and they completed all of their assignments, guess what? They're a nurse at the end of it. It's the same with any goal. Set your goal, do the tasks that are necessary, whether you feel like doing them or not. And on that note, let's just use the nurse example again. I don't think any nurse ever during the process of their education said, I cannot wait to write that thesis paper. I cannot wait to have to go and look through 85 peer review articles to figure out what I'm going to use for this paper I have to write. I don't think any of them said that. They just did it because they had to. That's how you have to start thinking if you want to be successful. I don't feel like doing this, but I'm doing it anyway.